We all have an inner child within. An inner child who came into this world full of joy, innocence and extreme lengths of love and purity- with eyes beaming, a smile full of laughter and excitement, and the feeling that nothing and no one could stand in the way of the unconditional love that was felt for the world in its entirety.
Our inner child shines through us every moment-
Always there listening to us. Always there helping us make decisions. Always there reacting to the situations we find ourselves in. Always there needing our love and support. Always looking for reassurance and comfort to make up for what we may not have received as young children. And of course, always there trying to get us to see life through their eyes.
As we grow up throughout these innocent years of our adolescence, we start to learn to navigate life in its entirety through the eyes, emotions and exchanged energy of our caregivers. We begin to change and adapt to the environment we are surrounded in. We come to learn that the magic we once perceived life as, isn't as it seemed. We then start to learn from those around us that the magic we’d hoped to believe in was short lived and isn't available if growing up in an unhealed environment.
We learn about rejection, being shut down, being silenced, and we learn about the different emotions others can display and project onto us. We are silenced every time we want to share our story. We are continually shut down. We are told to lower our voice. We are taught that our self expression can be too much at times, which then over time causes our hearts to close up, so we then conform into sheltered, confused, traumatised beings, and through all of this, the ego, the shadow, and all of our trauma and triggers begin to evolve and grow.
As adults we lack emotions we crave, and we crave emotions we lack. We don't know how to find them or where to find them. Self love is something unknown and unspoken. We’ve grown up watching the language and actions of our parents and thought this is how we must be in order to survive. We learn that to be fragile is common, to be scared and defensive and indecisive and impure, is how to live and get by safely, because it's what everyone else is doing and what we were taught. We seek and adapt to environments that may not be good for us in the long term because it's similar to what we grew up with or grew up around. We look for emotions in others that we never received or we avoid emotions altogether because we received too much or not enough of them in our growing years.
What is the inner child?
The inner child is a sub-codependent sub-personality, used in therapy practices and healing practices to connect, understand and work with our past traumas and childhood experiences. Thus encouraging us to communicate with ourselves better, and be more compassionate and loving towards ourselves.
When using the inner child for therapy, you’re allowing and using this fragment of your imagination to entertain the idea that a part of you when you were a child still exists and resides in you, and is the reason you react and act the way you do today, due to who you were as a child.
Why do we need to understand the inner child?
We need to be aware of the inner child so we can heal the parts of us we are suppressing and unaware of.
We heal the inner child to understand the deeper parts of ourselves that we are unaware are causing unhealthy relationships with others and with ourselves.
We heal the inner child to practise self love, self acceptance and self worth.
We become aware of the inner child to be aware of ourselves completely.
We become aware of the inner child to one with ourselves.
The first step on this journey of finding and understanding your inner child, is bringing awareness into your life, just as awareness is the first step of any healing process.
Want to receive a Free Tarot Reading to help you understand and be aware of yourself on a deeper level? The Tarot Universe is full of pages and in-depth explanations to explore!
We bring awareness into our lives to bring a sense of knowing to our mind, which takes away the effects of triggers, and as we become conscious of the known triggers before happening and taking over the nervous system, we can then bring in practices we are learning, to bring ease and comfort into the body and the nervous system.
Working with the inner child is an extremely delicate and eye opening practice and it’s something I live by. Every moment of every day I bring this into my life. I teach it to all my students. I feel my little girl is always within me. I love who I am since learning to be one with my inner child. And I promise you can feel this way too.
It is our responsibility now, to give back to our inner child of what we needed, what we craved, what we deserved. Whatever we are craving from someone else, whenever we are craving from someone else, really means we need to give back to ourselves and be with ourselves, and to our inner child.
When doing practices that target the inner child, it can unlock a lot of emotions, traumas and memories. I don't know what your childhood was like. I can't give you the exact remedy to help navigate and understand your inner child (as much as I wish I could). All I can do is give you some tools that helped me, and perhaps enlighten you to a new way of understanding yourself on a deeper level.
1- TAROT
Asking the universe questions to help you dive deeper into your love for your inner child, to understand your inner child and what they need more clearly, or to simply check in and see what you may not be seeing or blocking which is causing disconnect with the inner child.
SEE BELOW for a spread for the inner child…
2- JOURNALLING
There are many different journaling exercises you can do to connect with and understand your inner child. Things like shadow work journalling and letter writing are some of my favourites. Along with journaling being a meditative practice, writing is also a powerful tool that can help to access your inner psyche.
3- SELF TALK THERAPY WITH THE INNER CHILD
Now this one I often get strange looks when teaching it. It's not as crazy as you think.
Think about it like this-
Why is it we crave voiced reassurance in life? Because to use our voice is to be heard and to be heard is a symbol of clear communication which can make us feel extremely validated and loved.
So why on earth would we not talk to ourselves and give ourselves the validation we want to hear? Why don't we talk to our inner child when we are hurt or needing support? Remember, when we are triggered, or needing an emotion or something from someone else, it's really our inner child needing love…
Example of self talk therapy with the inner child
When I am feeling triggered, I will go for a walk somewhere private, and out loud say-
“Okay bubba, I know you’re really triggered right now, and of course you are, this person made you feel unwanted and embarrassed, but it's okay, i've got you, and were going to work through this together. You are feeling this way because of the way she spoke to you, and because its similar to this that happened to you when you were younger…’
Reassuring yourself and your inner child. Nurturing yourself and your inner child.
4- DOING THINGS YOU LOVED TO DO AS A CHILD
Art, dancing, singing, a sport, anything that lights you up!
Maybe even something that triggers you at first because it's so foreign to you to actually do it?
Do what you love to do and watch yourself feel lifted with joy as your inner child takes the lead. Drop away what anyone else thinks. Come into your body and listen to what feels good in it. Don't let your mind control you when deciding what lights you up.
5- BRING YOUR INNER CHILD INTO MIND WHEN MAKING DECISIONS
Think of your inner child before you do anything...
Would buying this make my inner child happy?
Is this something my inner child would appreciate?
How is my inner child reacting to this situation?
Will this affect my inner child’s safety?
Allowing yourself to feel and react (safely) to the emotions that come up when thinking of the inner child is extremely important.
If you are someone who experienced trauma as a child, this practice may take you a little longer, and that's okay.
Sometimes we can feel afraid to bring our inner child into our minds, because of how scared or alone we were in these years of our life. That is the reason why we do this practice. To bring that little person to mind to remind them that you are the love they need, and always deserved. You are the key to giving them what they need, and you’re going to do so with ease, like they deserve. To reunite you with this little person and allow them to feel united with you.
This kind of practice overall, is a self love practice. It's reminding yourself that you hold the power to nurture and create a safe space for you and your inner child to be together in, so ultimately you can hold yourself as you are now and find safety within you as whole.
Below you will find an inner child tarot spread…
Before doing this spread I encourage you to ensure you are in a safe space, with little to no noise or distractions.
Ensure you are breathing deeply into your belly
Ensure your heart is open
Ensure your inner child feels safe to share
TAROT SPREAD
1. How does my inner child feel currently?
2. How does my inner child want to connect with me?
3. What can help my inner child feel loved and supported?
4. What’s keeping me from connecting with my inner child?
5. How can I connect with my inner child on a deeper level?
6. A message from my inner child-
This type of therapy is incredibly life changing, and I have seen it evolve people’s mindsets, lifestyles and relationships on a daily basis.
How our Inner Child feels sends ripple affects through our lives, from our relationships to our surroundings. With the guidance of Tarot Universe, we can help you to decend on a journey of deep inner awareness with the power of Tarot Spreads and perspectives from the Universe itself.
Checkout my blog post here on Situationships Blog and Tarot Spread to see whether your inner child can correlate with the romances you are attracting into your life.
If your feeling stuck and you'd like to navigate your next steps, click here for my Feeling Stuck Blog and Tarot Spread
Interpret and navigate your dreams with this Decipher Your Dreams Blog and Tarot Spread
Thank you so much for reading and I truly hope this has inspired you to look within with more curiosity and kindness.
Lots of love to you and your inner child
Love, Lovie xx
Healer, Teacher, Writer, Eternal Student
